Chasing a dream

In my pursuit

Of something

I forgot to tell you

That I want to matter

That my pain

And my pleasure

Depend on your mood swings

And I am a prisoner

Of your whim

And fancy

Of your imagination

Or lack of one

And I feel like I have lost

All of me

In the sea of your disinterest

Floating just above

The waves

Of my doubt

Trying to get back

To another reality

Hopeful

Unable to resist
Unwilling to let go
Enthralled by the words
You breathe to me
Wary of distance
I grasp emptiness
In the darkness
Of the abyss
Stretching this vast crater
Between us
But you are closer
Than anyone
Ever
And I marvel
In the age of our souls
I am inebriated
On your attention
Your unwavering force
Breaking my sorrow
Chaining my self-doubt
To my loneliness
I have become addicted
To the relief
Of my mental struggle
Bestowed by your spirit
Your own unique drug
And I crave release
Deep in the wasteland
Of this barren existence
My humanity suffocating me
And the humanity of others
And the emotions of others
Choking and gasping
Until I reach
Across the chasm
And breathe you in
To save me ...

back room at work

trying to escape the AC at the office

He said ....

Half in and out
of laughter
and joking
I thought I heard
something
probably nothing
from the beautiful mind
and damaged soul
entity of art
I thought was
something
how I've longed
for this
not knowing
that knowing
would kill me
tear me to pieces
scattered across the void
I thought I heard
what I wanted to hear
never wanted to hear
confusing
I turn away from and to you
and in you
I find relief
from myself

              late for work...again

graduation day lil sis!